Superman has been around longer than any other superhero, having literally set the precedent for what it means to be one. He’s spearheaded superhero comics since Action Comics #1, and has experienced every era of comics. From startlingly realistic, to positively insane, to gritty reimagination, Superman has always stood at the forefront of superherodom. However, as anyone who reads comics knows, they can get really weird sometimes. Especially back in the Silver Age, where it felt like writers were just throwing darts at a dictionary someone else was flipping through to determine what would happen in the next issue. Needless to say, the Man of Steel has been on some of the wackiest adventures ever thought up in comics, so why don’t we take a look at the ten weirdest ones? There’s about ten thousand more weird ones I’d love to look over, but believe me, these ten are strange enough to tide anyone over.
10) The Skyscraper Superman!
This is the most normal story we’ll be talking about today. In Action Comics #325, the cover story is “The Skyscraper Superman!” which sees the Man of Tomorrow coming into contact with Red Kryptonite that turns him into a giant while fighting some aliens. Now, this isn’t unusual at all, given that back in the day Red Kryptonite was the ultimate plot device to do whatever the story demanded to Superman, but what’s insane is that being turned into a giant reminds Superman of the time he was turned giant on Krypton. Apparently, before Krypton exploded Jor-El accidentally used his growth ray to enlarge baby Kal-El into a mountain-sized menace. The idea of being turned giant triggering some deeply-hidden memory Superman had of when he must have been less than two years old is very fun and really stupid. He does eventually return to normal, of course, because while being huge is great for making intimidating criminals into complacency, it’d be really hard to explain Clark Kent’s sudden growth spurt.
9) Superman’s NEW Power!
Back before we had things like defined expectations, in the height of the Silver Age of no limitations, Superman was the original clickbait. Case in point, Superman #125 advertised Superman with a mysterious new power on the cover that shocked everyone, and shock it did. This story sees Superman develop the ability to shoot a miniature version of himself out of his hands. This Mini-Superman comes equipped with all of Superman’s abilities, leaving the Man of Steel nearly powerless, sans flight and invulnerability. Also, he doesn’t get those back. Mini-Superman just exists now and he’s the only one with the powers. The people of the world immediately fall in love with the Miniature Man of Steel, to the point where the actual Superman gets really jealous of his tiny self and legitimately plans to kill the little guy. In the end, however, Mini-Superman sacrifices himself to save his creator from a Kryptonite meteor, restoring Superman’s powers as he dies a true hero. I don’t need to explain why this is weird, and it’s only so low on this list because I think just about everyone and their grandmother has heard about this story, so it’s lost a little bit of its novelty.
8) The Lady and the Lion
Superman had his very own Beauty and the Beast adventure in Action Comics #243. Superman meets a woman in the Mediterranean who claims to be a descendant of the witch Circe, who could turn people into animals. She asks Superman to marry her, but when he rejects her, because who wouldn’t reject a woman you just met in the middle of the ocean who calls herself a witch, she says that the evolution cocktail she gave him will turn him into an animal. The next day, Superman transforms into a lion-man, and although Lois promises to stay at his side, his shame at being more animal than person drives him to flee Metropolis forever. First he joins the circus, but then he runs even further away to Africa, where he takes over as the leader of a pride and has to reject an actual lioness’s attempt to get with him. In the end, Superman realizes that the cocktail he drank was laced with Kryptonite, and is able to find an antidote in Kandor’s library. So Superman is able to return to his normal, far less hairy self.
7) The Kryll Way of Dying
World’s Finest #289 started normal enough, with Batman and Superman coming together to bond over their shared insecurities that they will never be able to accomplish their goals of improving the world the way they want to. They bare their souls to each other, only for the Fortress of Solitude to be attacked by worm-like aliens that seek to drain their lifeforce. Eventually, the aliens reveal they are Probes designed by the Kryll to find planets of strong emotion, because the Kryll long ago lost their capacity for it. The probes are designed to drain all emotion on Earth until it is uninhabitable, and were drawn to the Fortress of Solitude because Batman and Superman’s bromance is the most powerful source of emotion in the entire world (sorry Lois). However, experiencing the World’s Finest’s emotions made the Probes realize how beautiful the world is, and they sacrifice themselves to allow it to continue undisturbed. While this issue does offer a legitimately heartwarming connection between two of the greatest superheroes, man are the emotion-draining alien worms peak comic book weirdness. And I love every page of it.
6) The Invasion of the Super-Ants!
Action Comics #296 saw the Earth be invaded by a colony of man-sized ants with super strength. They attacked all over the world, striking nuclear storehouses and mining operations. When Superman tried to intercept them, he discovered their ships used Kryptonite as fuel and he couldn’t even get close. Eventually they kidnapped Lois Lane (because of course), leaving Superman to take drastic measures. He flew through a cloud of Red Kryptonite at just the right angle to transform him partially into an ant, because as we established earlier Red Kryptonite can do whatever it needs to. Now able to communicate with the ants, they reveal they only kidnapped Lois to force Superman to find a way to talk to them, and they’re here on a mission of peace to warn the Earth of the danger that destroyed their home planet. The danger? Nuclear weapons. Yes, the entire alien ant invasion is actually a setup for an anti-nuke PSA, which Superman delivers to the United Nations while looking at the reader. This is beautiful and so very on the nose.
5) The Two Faces of Superman!
Stop me if you’ve heard this one before. Jor-El launches his baby boy off into space as Krypton explodes, the infant hurtling off into the stars towards Earth, during which of course his ship accidentally bumps into a derelict alien ship, which duplicates the young boy, leading to two Kal-Els crashing down on Earth. If you haven’t heard the second part, it’s because it’s only canon to Superman #137, which is an “imaginary story.” Back before they had a solid continuity and Elseworlds, writers would just retroactively label stories as having not happened when they got out of hand. This story follows an exact clone of Kal who crashed down on Earth at the same time, but instead of being found by Ma and Pa Kent, the clone was found by “Wolf” and Bonnie Derrek, career criminals. They raised the boy to hate all law and order, and he grew up to be Super-Menace, desiring to become the greatest criminal in the entire universe. He was just like Superman, except he was evil! You could tell because he wore a domino mask. Of course, another huge difference was that Super-Menace was way more ambitious than Superman. I mean, Superman just wanted to protect Earth, while Super-Menace wanted to be the best criminal in the entire universe! Definitely a bigger picture. Unfortunately, the cosmic energy duplicate of Superman was too much for even Silver Age comics to handle, and despite the fact that he sacrificed himself to explode both of his evil parents, he was deemed too dangerous to be kept canon.
4) The Amazing Story of Superman-Red and Superman-Blue
Not the ‘90s Red and Blue Electric Supermen, no, this is the original Superman color split. Yet another “imaginary story,” Superman #162 had to be written out of continuity because it genuinely can only be the final Superman story ever told. After the people of the Bottle City of Kandor tell Superman he’s failed to both enlarge them and stop crime on Earth, the Man of Tomorrow constructs a device that will make him smart enough to solve all the universe’s problems. The machine makes him infinitely more intelligent, but also has the side effect of splitting him into two identical copies; Superman-Red and Superman-Blue. Together, they solve literally all of the world’s problems. They enlarge the Kandorians and build New Krypton for them by collecting all the Kryptonite in the universe for it and stripping it of its ill effects, alongside creating an anti-evil ray that makes Lex Luthor and all the other villains into good people, with Lex curing every disease and ending poverty. In the end, the Supermen retire, appointing the Superman Robots to guard the worlds in case of any natural disasters. Superman-Red moves to New Krypton and marries Lois Lane, while Superman-Blue stays on Earth and marries Lana Lang. Everyone gets their happy ending, which is why this being a random issue in the middle of Superman’s comic so insane. It’s literally the ultimate, weird ending to everyone’s story, and they even did it in the most Silver Age way imaginable!
3) The Bride of Jungle Jimmy
No list of strange Superman adventures could ever be complete without at least one entry from Superman’s Pal Jimmy Olsen. Jimmy could fill out three lists on his own with these adventures, but today we’ll only focus on issue #98, which is the poster child for the level of weirdness Jimmy normally experiences. Jimmy and Clark venture into the jungle to check out a new movie being filmed, only to discover that the crew is showing the locals and a resident gorilla movies in exchange for letting them film there. Of course, they make the mistake of showing Bruna the gorilla King Kong, which convinces her to abduct Jimmy because of how much she loved it. Instead of just flying Jimmy away, when Superman sees the tantrum Bruna throws without Jimmy, Supes doubles down. He takes on the role of the local “witch doctor” and marries Jimmy to the gorilla. Jimmy eventually escapes by showing Bruna a movie of a gorilla throwing him off the cliff, but like… Jimmy is still legally married to a gorilla. That was never resolved. And I’m still not over Jimmy not only marrying the gorilla, but when his girlfriend Lucy Lang heard about it she immediately gave up on him and gave Bruna a veil. This entire story is beautifully unhinged and reads like all of Jimmy’s friends are playing one unending prank on him.
2) The Suicide Snare
Without a doubt, this is easily the most disgusting Superman story ever told, and I very much hope nothing ever tries to top it. In Action Comics #593, Superman and Big Barda are mind-controlled by a man named Sleez, who is, you guessed it, sleazy as can be. What’s his evil plan after he’s taken over two of the most powerful superheroes in the universe? Take over the world? Beat the Justice League? Rob the galaxy’s most impenetrable bank? No, unfortunately not. Sleez tries to have Superman and Barda make a sex tape. I guess his plan is to discredit them with it, but like… I don’t have to explain the laundry list of problems with this story, right? They are thankfully rescued before anything can happen, but dear lord above is this story insane. Sleez is so universally recognized as a slime-ball that Darkseid God of Evil himself warned Mr. Miracle about what Sleez was up to after Darkseid fired him. Do you know how vile you have to be for Darkseid to fire you then warn his sworn enemies about your plan? Darkseid Is many things, but even he’s not down for this.
1) Superman: At Earth’s End
Every story we’ve covered up until now has been wild, weird, and wacky beyond belief, but this one is special. Superman: At Earth’s End is a story so insane that I do not fully believe it could have been imagined by mortal men, and am only half joking when I say there must have been serious psychedelics involved when drafting it. If you think just the image of an elderly, jacked-out-of-his-mind Superman with a gun as big as he is tells you everything you need to know, trust me, that only scratches the surface. This Elseworlds tale is a sequel to Kamandi: At Earth’s End, and sees the Earth in the not-so distant future being systematically “cleansed” via nuclear bomb by emotionless cyborgs called the Biomech Sevens. Oh gosh, the ants warned us about this. When they set their target on Gotham City, a heavily depowered Superman makes it his mission to save Batman’s old home. Along the way he finds a group of rebel, motorcycle-riding, mohawked kids who lead the rebellion against the mutants that rule the city, called the DNA Diktators. Venturing deep into the undercity, old man Superman finds the kids’ parents as mutated slaves kept alive to breed, SS lion-men, a monster-bat undead clone of Batman, and the true masterminds behind everything in Gotham. Not one, but two clones of Adolf Hitler! Because one clone of Hitler in the post-apocalypse leading a monster army of Batman clones just wouldn’t make sense. In the end, the depowered Superman uses the gun that is the definition of ‘90s overcompensating and blasts the Hitler clones to smitherines. Mortally wounded, he carries Bruce’s body into a funeral pyre so nobody can ever misuse his friend’s corpse again. And, somehow, someway, it ends with the kids giving an anti-gun PSA, saying that without guns Superman would still be alive! I cannot express how this story makes me feel. This is a level of insanity that makes the inner workings of the Joker look like a Magical Treehouse book. Nothing could ever top the pure lunacy this book is, and if anything ever did, I don’t think I could handle it.
So there we have the top ten weirdest Superman stories of all time. This list is far from conclusive, as there are plenty more wild Silver Age stories we could name, but those will have to wait for another time. Frankly, I’m just shocked it wasn’t one of them at the number one spot, but not even Silver Age randomness can compare to ‘90s slop. Either way, do you think a different story deserved to take a spot on our list? Let us know in the comments below!
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