Twin Peaks is easily one of the most iconic series of the 20th century. The program melds quirky comedy with macabre themes and striking visuals, the end result of which is a damn fine program to which many of us continue to pay return visits decades after it first hit the airwaves. Twin Peaks features a colorful cast of characters, loads of imagination, and endlessly quotable dialogue. Speaking of the choice dialogue featured within, no character has lines more memorable than Agent Dale Cooper (Kyle MacLachlan). Cooper has a sunny disposition and a poetic outlook on the world. His linguistic prowess comes to light immediately after his arrival in the titular locale and continues to serve as a bright spot in the series throughout.
In observance of Agent Cooper’s beloved observations, quips, and asides, we are endeavoring to spotlight 10 of his most memorable quotes from the show’s original two-season run.
1) “Every day, once a day, give yourself a present.”
In Season 1, Episode 6, Cooper encourages Sheriff Harry Truman (Michael Ontkean) to engage in an act of self-care each day. Cooper encourages Truman to make sure to slow down and enjoy something that brings him joy each day, to carve out a little time and space for himself. This exchange transpires when the pair find themselves at the Double R Diner after finishing up some business.
Truman is quick to move on to the next agenda item thereafter, but Cooper offers a kernel of wisdom that’s as true now as it was when the series was on the air. Cooper tells Truman that we all need to indulge in something that makes us happy, at least once a day. He explains that it can be something as simple and routine as a cup of coffee or as indulgent as buying a new article of clothing. What makes this quote so memorable is that Agent Cooper is right. We all need to take a moment to slow down and take care of ourselves. No one ever looks back on their life and says, “I only wish I’d treated myself worse.”
2) “Black As Midnight On A Moonless Night.”
This quote is endlessly poetic and serves as a perfect glimpse into the lyrical quality of the series. In the town of Twin Peaks, characters rarely respond to a straightforward question like, “How do you like your coffee,” with a boring or expected answer. That goes double for Agent Cooper, who has a penchant for turning casual conversation into an art form.
Cooper’s way with words is a large part of what makes the character so endearing. He can liven up even the most boring of dialogue, much like he did when asked how he takes his coffee in Season 1, Episode 2.
3) “Diane, If You Ever Get up This Way, That Cherry Pie Is Worth a Stop.”
This quote comes from a conversation Agent Cooper is dictating to his disembodied assistant, Diane, over a portable tape recorder during the pilot episode. Though we eventually get to meet her in the 2017 series revival, Diane’s identity remains a mystery throughout the first two seasons and the prequel film, Twin Peaks: Fire Walk With Me. Cooper’s tendency to talk to Diane at unexpected times is a huge part of his quirky charm.
The idea that Cooper is so taken with the pie in Twin Peaks shows, once again, that he appreciates the little things and understands the importance of staying present in the moment to enjoy them.
4) “What I Want and What I Need Are Two Different Things, Audrey.”
This iconic quote comes from Season 1, Episode 7 when Cooper gently explains to Audrey Horne (Sherilyn Fenn) that it’s inappropriate for them to get physical after she shows up naked in his bed. This scene establishes Cooper as a standup guy who is too forthright to take advantage of a younger woman who, despite her attempts to suggest otherwise, is still very much an impressionable child.
The series came out at a time when there was far less emphasis on matters like power dynamics. So, to see series creators David Lynch and Mark Frost eschew the opportunity to tempt viewers with a forbidden union, instead taking the high road, is a surprising, yet effective turn of events that only works to make Cooper even more endearing.
5) “I Have No Idea Where This Will Lead Us, but I Have a Definite Feeling It Will be a Place Both Wonderful and Strange.”
This next quote comes from Season 2, Episode 18. This series installment sees Cooper and company investigating Cooper’s former partner Windom Earle’s (Kenneth Welsh) mysterious past. In their collective endeavors, Cooper makes that memorable remark about the journey leading to someplace both wonderful and strange.
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Many fans have posited that the quote also doubles as an apt descriptor for the series itself. We, as the audience, often have little idea where the narrative will take us, but those of us who’ve visited Twin Peaks before know that the locale is a perfect mixture of both the aforementioned descriptors.
6) “Diane, I Am Now Upside Down.”
In Season 2, Episode 5, we see Cooper, once again, dictating notes to Diane, taking care to provide ample context on exactly what he’s doing at the time. Out of an abundance of caution, he clues Diane in that he will begin the day with a headstand. Moving on, he alerts his loyal assistant that he is “now upside down.”
Cooper’s relationship with Diane is comical, in no small part, because we see all of their correspondence from Cooper’s perspective. That is until his faceless assistant is finally introduced in the eventual third season. The idea that we hear Cooper share so much useless information with Dianne endears him as a leading man with plenty of quirks and also gives us some good chuckles along the way.
7) “How’s Annie?”
As a series with very little interest in explaining itself, it seems almost fitting that the show closed out Season 2 with a cliffhanger and stayed off the air for the better part of 30 years. The episode in question sees Cooper smashing his head into a mirror, only to ask how his girlfriend, Annie (Heather Graham), is doing … over and over again.
This entire setup is more than a little unusual, but with that eerie inquiry resonating through our heads for decades after the show went off the air, it remains a very memorable line of dialogue.
8) “This Must Be Where Pies Go When They Die”
Agent Cooper loves a cup of coffee and a slice of cherry pie. He makes reference to both with great frequency throughout the series. What could be a perplexing collection of throwaway lines somehow manage to let us into Cooper’s world and give us insight into his psyche.
As fans have pointed out previously, Cooper enjoys the slow pace of life in Twin Peaks, which is illustrated by his appreciation for quality, homemade baked goods and a damn fine cup of coffee. In Season 1, Episode 4, we see Cooper enjoying a slice of pie at the Double R Diner and savoring the moment with that unforgettable statement about the celestial pie.
9) “Now I’d Like Two Eggs Over Hard. I Know, Don’t Tell Me, It’s Hard on the Arteries, but Old Habits Die Hard, Just About as Hard as I Want Those Eggs.”
In Season 1, Episode 2 we see Cooper ordering breakfast and playfully deflecting any unwanted warnings that eggs are high in cholesterol. Any other character on any other show would likely have said something far more succinct, yet far less memorable. This is effectively a throwaway line that few even remember, yet it reads like poetry, proving that almost every word Agent Cooper speaks has the potential to be memorable.
In general, it doesn’t matter if Agent Cooper orders breakfast or dictates a memo for Diane, he always has a way with words.
10) “A Damn Fine Cup Of Coffee.”
You didn’t think we were done with coffee quotes, did you? We are reflecting on Twin Peaks, after all, so it should come as no surprise that this list of quotable Cooperisms will feature ample coffee references.
In Season 1, Episode 2 Cooper sits down for a refreshing cup of joe and subsequently proclaims that the brewed concoction he is drinking to be “A damn fine cup of coffee.” Cooper’s appreciation for the simple things makes him an endlessly endearing leading man. Additionally, the character’s instance of indulging in things that bring him joy serves as an evergreen reminder that we should all be doing the same.
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